And please listen carefully to the demon currently attending you, as they will be directing you to the circle of Hell most appropriate for you. We here at Hell strive to better damn souls, and if there's anything we're doing right, please let us know so we can correct it.

And with that, Satan is pleased to welcome you to Hell. Enjoy your stay- just like Hotel California, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Gah. I feel like, if RT doesn't do it, I may steal the idea for a novel. I'd write a happy fairytale just to write this ending.